Naomi Exposed: What Dubai’s Dessert Queen is really like

“Naomi inspires. Naomi teaches. Naomi guides.” – Naomi D’Souza

Hi. ✋

I’m Zeba.

You may know me as the girl Naomi likes to bully on her stories. If you don’t, then hi ✋, I am the girl Naomi likes to bully on her stories. This is my revenge.

WHO AM I?

Well, until January of 2018, I was just a follower of Naomi’s. She put up a story on Instagram saying she needed interns, and to email her if you were interested. So I did! I got selected initially to write 4 articles, and then she kept promoting my ass off and now I’m the website content manager of www.naomidsouza.com. ? I also do a few other small things, but this is my main position. Working for Naomi is a part-time job. But working WITH Naomi, oh boy, that’s a full-time job. ?‍♀️?

WHAT IS NAOMI REALLY LIKE?

Before I became personally acquainted with her, I had this image in my mind of what Naomi was like. Mind-Naomi was confident, smart, elegant and mature. ? Is Real-Naomi all those things? Well, yes. But also no. She’s confident, but she has the same insecurities we all face. She’s smart but also pretty stupid sometimes (sorry boss). She’s elegant but she’s also so frikkin’ weird. She’s matur- ok I have nothing.?

Anyone who’s familiar with her Instagram knows Naomi is BIG on the puns. But Instagram-Naomi puns are just a fraction of Real-Naomi puns. Expect a LOT of punny jokes. ?

And then there’s also a lot of this stuff which I’m not even sure what to categorize as…

Apart from the jokes, we also have a lot of very deep and intellectual conversations about brand strategizing. ?

But all jokes aside, I really have learned so much about the whole world of blogging from her. Now the thing about me is, I think way too much and hence tend to have a lot of doubts about what she does and why she chooses to do it that way. ? Majority of these doubts are obviously very trivial to Naomi since she’s been doing this for years, so what may seem confusing to me is actually common sense to her. But she still ALWAYS sends me these really long voice notes explaining everything in detail, even though a simple yes/no would’ve sufficed. I really like that about you, boss. ?

WHAT DOES MY WORK ENTAIL

I do a bit of behind the scenes work for Naomi, including website stuff/facebook stuff/writing, etc., but come on. Let’s be real. We all know you only actually care about finding out what a tasting is like. ? So basically, it’s everything you think it is and more. Yes, you get to eat a LOT of food. ? Yes, you eat for free. ? Yes, you put on a lot of weight (OK FINE, yes I put on a lot of weight. Angela and Serena still look like supermodels, I have no frikkin’ idea how ?). The only downside that I can think of, is that sometimes you get REALLY into clicking pictures and the food gets a little cold. But hey, free slightly cold food is better than no food, right? ?

I HAVE TO REDEEM MYSELF

So recently I wrote an article called “What are the chances that you’re alive?” for Naomi’s website. ✍ Apparently, the probability of your existence is 1 in 10^2,685,000  and the article goes into detail of how that number was calculated.  I was actually really chuffed with it and it’s content, and I was eagerly waiting to see how Naomi would promote it on her stories. ? So I open my Instagram and see this…

EXCUSEE MEE??!! So now 73.5k people think I’m weird. WOW. ?
So I would just like to redeem myself by showing you all a screenshot. No explanations, no reasons, no justifications. Just read this for yourself and decide. ??

By the way, if you guys would like to support me by reading my article, that would be GREAT. ?

THE DESSERT TOUR INCIDENT

I’d been trying to get into Naomi’s Dessert Tours since MONTHS! I wouldn’t even comment on the food tour images, since I was saving myself for the Dessert Tours. After I started interning with her, Naomi invited me to her next Dessert Tour and obviously, I was over the moon. ? Now I want you to picture this. It’s the night before the Dessert Tour. I had been waiting for this day since FOREVER. I had spent so many hours of my life just staring at all the pictures of her tours and the goodie bags. OH GOD, those legendary goodie bags. ?❤ People have gotten ENTIRE CAKES to take home. Bear in mind Naomi also really hyped up the goodie bags to me! “Keventers is a sponsor for the goodie bag this time” “The goodie bags are ?”. She wouldn’t even tell me who the remaining sponsors were since she wanted it to be a surprise! So imagine poor ol’ me at the PEAK of my excitement, and my phone ? beeps. It’s a text from Naomi.

<silence>

I couldn’t move.

It was like my entire life had come crashing in front of my eyes. All my dreams, all my hopes..all for nothing. Fighting back tears, I replied to her that I understood. After all, I was an intern. I wasn’t a proper ‘guest’ on the tour. I was selected as a favour, so obviously I wasn’t getting all the perks. ? Why would I? It was so silly of me to even think that I would be eligible for something so amazing. So I told her, I understood, even though I had to force myself to. I had to be brave. ? And she replies;

<silence>

WHO DOES THAT?! That was the day I realized I was working for a monster. ?? For an accurate audio representation of what my mind was like at that moment, listen to the below audio.

 

CONCLUSION

Naomi D’Souza is a paradox.

Is Naomi a bully? Yes. But is she also one of the kindest people you’ll ever meet? Absolutely.
Is Naomi a badass? Completely! But is she also a big ol’ softie? I mean, the girl has 8 teddies on her bed (including one unicorn?)…
Does Naomi embarrass you? Yes, sometimes I want to die. But does she also make you feel good about yourself? So good I feel like my heart would burst. ?
Is Naomi a bad influence? She tries (you know what I’m referring to, boss). But has she also made you a better person? A hundred percent.
Is Naomi one of the most annoying people you’ll ever come across? No doubt. But is she also the world’s best boss? HELL. FKN. YES.❤

TL; DR:

Disclaimer: All of the above is 100% completely my honest opinion since the four months that I’ve known Naomi personally. Also, the reason I’ve written this so openly is because I believe we’re friends enough that I can gently tease her without her taking it personally. But in case you stop seeing my name on her stories/reviews/website, that means I was mistaken and probably got fired.

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Written and Researched by Zeba Bashir.